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Firstborns
The science of birth order has always intrigued me with its
complicated characteristics, which never fail to appear in families.
I once took a birth order test which revealed which birth order
child I am, expecting to get first born as my result. Instead, the
response was 4th child! Although I am a first born, I am also a
fourth child. Therefore, I must have certain characteristics of a
“functional firstborn.” A functional first born is a firstborn with
much older siblings and no other children between them. That’s the
category I am in.
I never considered myself a goody two shoes type of first born, like
John Boy on the Walton’s. And I most certainly am not. As a first
born, I naturally want to be the best at everything, and when I am
not, it becomes a trying experience. I want to do things earlier
than my little sister, but she’s better at nearly everything. Once,
we participated in a shooting competition. I am better than my sister at
shooting, but I have a terrible hereditary trait that my sister
doesn’t. I get nervous-very nervous. So, my shooting was bad since
my hands were all wobbly and I waited about ten minutes to do each
shot. My first offhand shot botched it all. My sister was in a
younger age bracket and got fourth prize. I got nothing. My good
work was not recognized because I messed up that one time. And it
made it look like my sister was a better shot than I was.
I think what we firstborns should remember is that we all are human
beings. Our younger siblings can be good at stuff too. So don’t
blame them for being smarter than you are.
One of my greatest frustrations is my bad attitude. I have always
thought I have had bad luck, and the more I believe it, the stronger
the perception becomes. My sister wins more contests, has much
more money (without an allowance), and in general has a better life.
It’s all because of her outlook on life. Being a first born makes it
incredibly hard to be in touch with your inner self. It’s difficult
not to care about the opinions of others, because I want to be
right. This greatly describes how I often feel. My sister is a very,
very smart girl. She sits alone reading books while I stand in the
kitchen having an argument with my parents. I’m a muddled soul who
only wants to argue my point, while my highly intelligent sister
prudently listens to her parents. The mere idea makes me want to
puke, but obeying my parents every command provides the best life.
So, you may say, I thought firstborns were all adorable little
precious pies. No, there are two kinds of firstborns. Type 1 is an
obedient android. Type 2 wants to be obedient, yet is very
rebellious.
What type of firstborn are you?
©03/25/09
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